Thoughts on my second Mother's Day...

Today is my second Mother's Day. I started thinking about how my life has changed and all the things that I have learned in the 17 months since Aiden was born. I know I still have many more lessons to learn and many more journeys to have, but I think you can all agree that we have been through a lot in the past couple years! Here are the 10 most important things I have learned so far:

1. I AM NOT AN IDIOT. I know my son. I know what is normal and what is not. I know what he needs better than anyone else. When doctors or "experts" tell me what they think about him, I don't have to agree just because they are a doctor. I see Aiden everyday and know his entire life history - he is more than just what his medical chart says. Don't get me wrong, some really great doctors, nurses and therapists have helped my son, but sometimes I just scratch my head at some of the things that "specialists" say.

2. Motherhood is all about DOING WHAT WORKS FOR YOUR CHILD. When I was pregnant there was a lot of things I said I would/would not do as a mother. I said I would never give my baby formula, but my milk supply was never enough to sustain him after I tried everything - so bring on the formula! I said I would only feed him healthy food - no butter, sugar or processed foods - then Aiden had trouble gaining weight and I put butter, cream and maple syrup into his sweet potatoes for extra calories and I give him ice cream sometimes. I realized I just have to do what works for Aiden - not what I thought I would do or should do as a mother. I also learned that what works for one momma may not work for another momma - there is no "right" way.

3. Sometimes I AM AN IDIOT. Seriously, since having Aiden I lost half my brain. Perhaps somehow it was removed during my c-section (c-section, another thing I said I would never do - only natural childbirth for me, ha!). I was in an understandable fog when Aiden was in the hospital, but I thought it would get better. It hasn't. I talk to myself (in baby talk, when I am alone) in the grocery store isle - "now we need some lettuce, it is green!". Sometimes when I am at work trying to concentrate, the only thing in my head is "old MacDonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O", "with an oink oink here and an oink oink there"....you get the idea. Sorry Kay (my boss) if your reading this. It isn't all the time, and never when it is something important ;)

4. Little MIRACLES HAPPEN everyday. So do big ones. Do you know how many weird looks I have gotten when I express faith in Aiden's abilities and when I insist that he will do something? I know the good and the bad. And I choose to focus on the good. I don't think there is anything wrong with that.

5. KIDS ARE MESSY. There is nothing you can do about it. When your son chooses to use the spoon to feed his forehead instead of putting it in his mouth (see example below), you just have to watch and laugh (and take pictures). Ditto when he flings the whole thing on the floor a few seconds later.


6. MY MOTHER ROCKS! I have always loved my mother and knew I had a great childhood. But, I never fully appreciated everything she did for me until I had a baby of my own. She made clothes for us, she made all of our food (fast food was not something I remember!), she played with us, she taught us so much, she gave up having extra money and new things to be a stay at home mom for us. I don't know how she did it all!

7. LIFE CHANGES. Jeremy doesn't play video games anymore. I don't spend every Saturday at the mall. I still stumble into bed around 3am, not because I have been out drinking - but because I have just rocked Aiden back to sleep after his middle of the night bottle.

8. YOU CAN'T CONTROL EVERYTHING. This was/is a hard lesson for me to learn. I can't force Aiden to eat all his dinner. I can't force him to fall asleep at 8pm. I can't somehow make his hip stay in the socket. I don't know what effects Aiden's early start in life will have on him, and I can't control what they might be.

9. POOP HAPPENS. And it gets on you and your favorite shirt. Your baby pees on you. And there are boogers, too. Yet somehow, you don't really care.

10. You will NEVER LOVE ANYTHING AS MUCH AS YOU LOVE YOUR CHILD. An unconditional kind of love. There is nothing better than the sight of Aiden smiling and the sound of his laughter. It makes me happier than anything else in the world.

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mothers out there and the Grandmothers, the Great-Grandmothers, the Mothers-to-be, the Mothers-in-law, the women that want to be Mothers someday and the Mothers of pampered pets :)