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| Going... |
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| Going... |
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| Gone! |
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Sleepy Boy
Aiden has caught his first cold this week. He has handled it well, it was a pretty mild one - which I guess is good, because we know now how he will handle them. Still pretty scary how just a mild cold effects him. We have had to give him breathing treatments again, and one of the medications has a side effect of hyperactivity. Aiden has been refusing to take naps during the day because he gets the medication in the morning and he just goes non-stop all day. After he ate dinner tonight and had a full belly, he just passed out - he finally needed to sleep!
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Naptime
Yesterday afternoon these two fell asleep on the couch - on opposite ends of course. This is how they were napping. They slept for almost 2 hours in these same positions...
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| Butt up in the air? It doesn't look like it would be comfortable - but he seemed to be! |
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| Sophie has claimed this pillow for herself...she was totally on her back with her feet in the air - but I wasn't quick enough to get that picture ;) |
Friday, September 17, 2010
I've been a busy girl lately...
Just noticed that I only have 3 posts so far this month! That is just sad. I have been busy with work, playing with Aiden, starting to plan a 2nd birthday party and I have been busy trying to buy up as much fresh fruit and veggies at the farmers market and get a good stockpile of food for Aiden in the freezer. I also decided to try my hand at making some jam and canning. Yeah, I might be turning into my mom...and that's OK, because I think my mom is awesome.
Diced heirloom tomatoes and sweet basil for my winter soups and vanilla peach blackberry jam for...toast :)
Oh, and I have been blogging about it all my baby food cooking adventures HERE. I started another blog so that I can share all my high calorie (and some not so high calorie) baby food recipes with other mom's that are trying to fatten up their kids! I think I have 5 followers now :)
I will try to be a better blogger next month!
Diced heirloom tomatoes and sweet basil for my winter soups and vanilla peach blackberry jam for...toast :)
Oh, and I have been blogging about it all my baby food cooking adventures HERE. I started another blog so that I can share all my high calorie (and some not so high calorie) baby food recipes with other mom's that are trying to fatten up their kids! I think I have 5 followers now :)
I will try to be a better blogger next month!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Pudding Painting
I have wanted to try finger painting with Aiden for a while now, but since he still wants to taste everything in sight I really didn't want to just give him regular paint so, I made some "paint" out of a nasty pack of sugar free vanilla pudding and added food coloring to it. Then we went outside, I put Aiden in just a diaper so that he could make as big a mess as he wanted and gave him something to draw on. He was very interested in the slimy stuff and kept dipping his binky into it and then sucking off the pudding. Good thing I didn't give him real paint :)
His favorite part of the whole thing was of course, when I brought out the water bucket for him to splash around in so he would get clean!
By the way, the best way to clean this all up? Let the dog enjoy a nice afternoon pudding snack ;)
His favorite part of the whole thing was of course, when I brought out the water bucket for him to splash around in so he would get clean!
By the way, the best way to clean this all up? Let the dog enjoy a nice afternoon pudding snack ;)
Monday, September 6, 2010
My Job (a bit of a rant)
The other day I overheard a conversation I should not have heard. I have not stopped thinking about it and am full of regret now that I did not jump into the middle of that conversation. I was standing in line at the grocery store and there were two women behind me with their young kids, talking about preemies and their opinion about the medical intervention it takes to save the life of a tiny baby. A baby in their opinion "wants to die, is not supposed to be saved, has selfish parents that do not recognize what they are doing in order to keep the baby alive". I am assuming a magazine article about the Duggar preemie sparked their conversation. I sat there listening to the conversation go on. About parents going against God's will in keeping them alive, about babies suffering because their parents refuse to let them go, about the horrible "quality of life" that a very early, small preemie will have.
The rational part of me said that these were people who have never been faced with the situation of choosing to keep your child on support or let them go, of doctors telling you that they do not know if your child will live through the night - and if they do live that your child may face several disabilities and health problems, they have never had to hear the words "you have a very sick baby" when all you want is a family. These people do not know what it is like to try and try and try for a baby only to have the worst happen. These people have never been on my side of the fence. They are the fortunate ones that have never had to make difficult decisions in order to have their families.
The rational part of me said they were just ignorant and to let it go, and not to make a scene in the middle of the grocery store. The irrational part of me wanted to punch them in the face and tell them to shut the "F" up.
I sat there just being angry and not being able to find the balance between the rational and irrational sides to tell them calmly and intelligently how wrong they were and if they saw my son and his "quality of life" that they might think differently. That if it happened to them, they might think differently. So I did nothing. Now, I want to go back to that moment. That moment where I had the opportunity to educate them, to show them a different view. I am angry at myself for not standing up for my son and for my family or the choices that we made and continue to make everyday. I want a do-over.
I want to tell them Aiden's story. I want to tell them how much we wanted him. How hard we tried to get him. How hard it was to watch him struggle for life. How hard every decision was. How hard it was to sit in a room while a doctor told us that the baby that we tried so hard for was on maximum life support with tiny, scarred lungs and that they found a large part of damage in his brain. How we had to answer the question "how long do you want to keep him on life support?", "how far do you want us to intervene to save him?". I knew all the bad things that could happen, all the side effects from his prematurity that he could face. I knew he could have delays. It only took me a few moments to come to a conclusion about his" quality of life".
"Quality of life'. It always bothers me when people say that. What does that mean? If Aiden never walks without assistance, or has to have physical therapy or speech therapy or wears special shoes for his feet - why would that mean he has a poor quality of life? If he was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy or was permanently disabled, why would that mean that his life is not a good one? Why do we associate disabilities with a "poor quality of life"? Because my child has a delay in gross motor skills, someone is going to question the life that he has, the love that his whole family gives him? Why do we place so much stock in children developing on a schedule? Does it really make a difference if a child walks at 9 months vs. 19 months vs. 29 months? I don't get it. Aiden is happy, he smiles constantly, he laughs, he gets kisses all day. I tell him how much I love him every 5 minutes - I don't EVER question his quality of life. Not for a second. Even in the toughest times in the NICU there were moments that our little family of 3 was cuddling together and content, even if things would have gone a different way, I would not have traded those moments for all the money the world. Even if he had come through it with a severe disability, I would love him just the same, kiss him just the same. His quality of life would be the same - wonderful, because his family loves and cares for him.
I have heard a lot about God's plan - when we were doing IVF to conceive and during Aiden's hospital stay. I don't know if I believe in God, I believe in being a good person - not because I have to, but because I want to. I would like to think that if there is a God, that he gave us Aiden just the way he is, and that he also gave us the intelligence to develop the technology and the people who have the skills to save his life. Just because God did not give me a full term healthy child does not mean that it was not in his plan for Aiden to be with us.
Sitting here, writing this with my son on my lap, I know that we made the right decisions. I can't imagine why anyone would think they have the right to question those decisions. As a preemie parent you make difficult choices for your child and then you help them to grow up and learn and perhaps overcome some of the consequences of those decisions. It's your job. It's what I signed up for the day I sat in that room with Aiden's doctor and said "I want you to do EVERYTHING to save him".
And do you know what?
I love my job.
The rational part of me said that these were people who have never been faced with the situation of choosing to keep your child on support or let them go, of doctors telling you that they do not know if your child will live through the night - and if they do live that your child may face several disabilities and health problems, they have never had to hear the words "you have a very sick baby" when all you want is a family. These people do not know what it is like to try and try and try for a baby only to have the worst happen. These people have never been on my side of the fence. They are the fortunate ones that have never had to make difficult decisions in order to have their families.
The rational part of me said they were just ignorant and to let it go, and not to make a scene in the middle of the grocery store. The irrational part of me wanted to punch them in the face and tell them to shut the "F" up.
I sat there just being angry and not being able to find the balance between the rational and irrational sides to tell them calmly and intelligently how wrong they were and if they saw my son and his "quality of life" that they might think differently. That if it happened to them, they might think differently. So I did nothing. Now, I want to go back to that moment. That moment where I had the opportunity to educate them, to show them a different view. I am angry at myself for not standing up for my son and for my family or the choices that we made and continue to make everyday. I want a do-over.
I want to tell them Aiden's story. I want to tell them how much we wanted him. How hard we tried to get him. How hard it was to watch him struggle for life. How hard every decision was. How hard it was to sit in a room while a doctor told us that the baby that we tried so hard for was on maximum life support with tiny, scarred lungs and that they found a large part of damage in his brain. How we had to answer the question "how long do you want to keep him on life support?", "how far do you want us to intervene to save him?". I knew all the bad things that could happen, all the side effects from his prematurity that he could face. I knew he could have delays. It only took me a few moments to come to a conclusion about his" quality of life".
"Quality of life'. It always bothers me when people say that. What does that mean? If Aiden never walks without assistance, or has to have physical therapy or speech therapy or wears special shoes for his feet - why would that mean he has a poor quality of life? If he was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy or was permanently disabled, why would that mean that his life is not a good one? Why do we associate disabilities with a "poor quality of life"? Because my child has a delay in gross motor skills, someone is going to question the life that he has, the love that his whole family gives him? Why do we place so much stock in children developing on a schedule? Does it really make a difference if a child walks at 9 months vs. 19 months vs. 29 months? I don't get it. Aiden is happy, he smiles constantly, he laughs, he gets kisses all day. I tell him how much I love him every 5 minutes - I don't EVER question his quality of life. Not for a second. Even in the toughest times in the NICU there were moments that our little family of 3 was cuddling together and content, even if things would have gone a different way, I would not have traded those moments for all the money the world. Even if he had come through it with a severe disability, I would love him just the same, kiss him just the same. His quality of life would be the same - wonderful, because his family loves and cares for him.
I have heard a lot about God's plan - when we were doing IVF to conceive and during Aiden's hospital stay. I don't know if I believe in God, I believe in being a good person - not because I have to, but because I want to. I would like to think that if there is a God, that he gave us Aiden just the way he is, and that he also gave us the intelligence to develop the technology and the people who have the skills to save his life. Just because God did not give me a full term healthy child does not mean that it was not in his plan for Aiden to be with us.
Sitting here, writing this with my son on my lap, I know that we made the right decisions. I can't imagine why anyone would think they have the right to question those decisions. As a preemie parent you make difficult choices for your child and then you help them to grow up and learn and perhaps overcome some of the consequences of those decisions. It's your job. It's what I signed up for the day I sat in that room with Aiden's doctor and said "I want you to do EVERYTHING to save him".
And do you know what?
I love my job.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Addison and Ryan
Since Aunt Lisa sent out the announcements, that means I get to post these.
I have been waiting.
Because they are just so darn cute.
Seriously.
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| Ryan and Addison. This is my favorite picture. |
Addison is a tiny little thing. I think she will be very sociable, and very photogenic - she was awake and posing the whole time we were taking pictures. She will be very well dressed and I can't wait to have tea parties with her and play barbies.
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| The older sister... |
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| She is so adorable. She looks like her momma. |
Ryan is such a little cutie. He is laid back and just chills. I am so happy that he is here. He and Aiden will be best buddies, I can't wait to watch them get into trouble together and make mischief. Somehow, I think their daddies will be involved in the trouble making, too.
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| And this handsome little man looks like his daddy. |
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| Sleepy boy. |
How cool it must be to have an instant family of four. A mini Lisa and a mini Chris. Lots of new family traditions and "firsts" to come for them.
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| Sweet babies. |
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| So sweet how they cuddle up together. |
Congratulations again to the "other Nicolls family" :)
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